Thursday, March 12, 2009
SPM Results Reveals
i guess its a
DEATH PENALTY. but i still can
LIVE THROUGH with it.
so..... it ain't that bad right?!
HOPEFULLY!!!
i went to school with vincent phang around 10am. but the results is only release on 10.30am. so we chat a little with the others long-time-no-see-friends while waiting. some are like me, stood up with a bold head in school. and we exchange experience in our camps. how nice to talk about NS with some old friends. anyway, thats not the topic for today.
until its time, i saw mr yuan when to open the hall's door and here we go. we went to a teacher sitting in front of the stage with our class name written over her head. and there the moments begins. heart beat started to pump faster and faster, i can feel my blood gushing through my veins in my head, heart beat drumming in my ears. nervous covers me onwards. when its my turn, i show her my IC and told her my name, she went flipping the piles of certificates with our results on top of the sets of certificates. and there was my name, after comferming all the documents are complete, she passe the set of certs to me with a smile. i smile a nervous smile back and reach out my results with a slightly trembling hands.
in less then a seconds, once i flipped open the 1st page, i saw this.
my heart stopped for a moment like it was absorbing what ever it is on that piece of paper. numbers and alphabets filled my eyes at once. after the 1st look, i close it and open it again. i can really read it yet. its too blur of every thing. but 1st that i release is, i
passed my BM, not just passed. i ever got a
credit for it!!!!
the 2nd thing that i realize is that i got only 3As. which disappointed me. then i tried to search for Bs, but i only manage to find two. next i realize that i got 6Cs, which disappoint me, quite a lot too. then it was the only E. i don't know was i expecting that coming, but i'm surely not expecting any good from that subject.
the last thing, and the most disappointing thing is that i got a 4B for the GCE-O standard. i was hopping for a A1 though. although it was hard to get an A1 for it, but i seriously hoped for it. but it end out as a dream. disappointed!
i pulled out my hand phone form my pocket and dialed my mummy's office number. she picked out in just 3 rings and i said:
"mum, i just got my results.""how was it?""not so good....""and......""i got 3As, 2Bs, 6Cs and 1E""oh....." *in a little hard voice."ok, thats all. i wont be back for lunch. am going out with friends.""ok.""bye.""bye."and thats the whole conversation between me and my mum. then i pause for a little and dailed another number. this time its daddy. the similar conversation went on and almost the same reaction is given. i can feel the hardness in their voice. it hurts me to disapointed them. worst, i disapointed myself. but, the next thing i though was, i still can live through this. its not that bad till i had to drop out of college. so it aint that bad. so i rearrange my though and focus on my friends results. many got pretty well results, some not. and i went to see some of my teachers. talk a little and then left.
[friends who went to take their results]afternooon, we went to Bintang Plaze to have pizza. dint too much though.
[forgot the flover name]
[eating]then we watch the Dragonball Evolution movie. was ok for me althogh it had lots of nagative comment on this movie. the action's there, the effect is there. if i had to say, i think its too short and the endding was lame though. i'm not gona comment more on this movie. cause not really in the mood to do so.
[Dragonball Evolution]then 5pm i went back home. daddy came to pick me up. in the car i told him again my results and he was just nodding and that's all. depression was picking up the atmosphere. tension in the air was tight like a rubber band being stretch. when we reach home, i'm relieve to get down the car for fresh air then straightly i went for a bath and sat down to think about stuffs. and it was diner time. i took my results downstairs and after dinner. i showed it to mummy. then we sat down and have a few talk. i explained to her how disappointed how the results is like and how disapointed am i. then we also moved into my further study topic.
mummy is still hoping that i change my mind and go for other subjects. anything others then music. i spend some time telling her what option do i have and why am i not suitable in the profession she offered me. then that's that.
i know mummy and daddy are disappointed. i am too, disappointed at myself who disappointed them. but what was done was done. although i am regret that i dint put all my effort in, but there is nothing could be change. and so what i'm gona do is do my best from this onwards. hope for the best in the future. that's how life gona continue. and that's what i'm gona do!!!!
i want to say this out loud:
"I'm really really sorry mummy and daddy for disappointing you guys. i'm really sorry!!!"
and congrats to those who have good results and add oil to those who are not satisfied with their results. i believe that we will have a
better tomorrow!!!
[the sun will always rise again]
Vincent Choo ♥
7:25 PM
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