Thursday, October 9, 2008
Current Life (part 2)
alright, this is a continuation of my last post. i'll talk about my what disappointed me in current life.
disappointed as in:i have bad reputation in my current academic studies. at this point, Form 5 is just a basic, general education in Malaysia but it is an important stepping stone for me or anyone into university. if i cant do well in such basic studies, what for saying further studies which is going to be a hundred and a thousand times harder then what i am facing now! i have to do well in my SPM!!! that is the least i can do!!!
why am i disappointed? because my recent trial results that i had receive back these few days had been letting me down again and again. some of you might find that i had been starting to be serious on my studies. cause SPM exam is drawing nearer and nearer by every second right now. so i had started to do revision for all my subject. but through out the whole revising time before the trial exam, i found out that there are so many stuff that i haven't manage yet and yet to be manage by the time i take my exam. there were so many confusion through the whole process and i kept an feeling that guilty for not paying attention on my studies untill now.
i have been lacking around for so many years and not being serious on my studies. and now when i finally wanted to be serious i find it too late. cause there is just too many things to catch up and i will be like starting form zero the starting point off all the subject. since i never take my studies too seriously for my past few years, the results that came out which is disappointing dint affect me much, i mean emotionally and mentally. cause i dint put much effort into it and so not expecting anything too much form it. but it is deference this time, i really put in my hear and soul to study all that i could in that short period of time, learning all that i can and understand all that i can. hoping that the trial exams results won't be as disappointing as my pass results.
but the outcome wasn't satisfying at all. most of the subject dint have big scale of change compare to the previous results, some even became worst! for example, i was expecting something like 75 ( at least an A1) but what came out was shocking! i only got 65 which was only ranked jut precisely on B3 meaning that if i am 1 mark lower i would be ranked as B4. now that was just the beginning of my nightmare. subject form Sejarah to mathematics was overall disappointing. what hurt me most was the subject moral.
just before the day i had my moral exam, i was at the pustaka spending my whole afternoon memorizing the Nilai and it's definition. hoping that i can at least pass my paper. but at the end all i got was 21 which is ranked very very very low. i seriously was stund by it. all my others friend was getting very well results for this subject, even friends who never think of scoring an A for this subject got an A1 for it. while they were all filled with excitement, i was beaten down deep into the pit of the hell of misery.
this is the mark i normally and i never had felt bad about before, but for this time, things wasn't the same. i felt it like a sword piercing right through my heart, hundred and thousand of time. i was deep in misery and wouldn't even want to look at the paper anymore. i was superbly depressed that day. i was actually planing to go to pustaka that afternoon to study but i cancel it and went back straight home and had a long sleep.
after all these, i had an conclusion. there is nothing that is free of charge, if you work hard, it still may not be yours, so you have to work even more harder till you get what you want! so i'm taking this advice to my left over time till the SPM exam is here. i can't just give up now. if i had fail doing my best for the past few years, it time i get serious and do that all i can to save what that i had lost. so........
ADD OIL, VINCENT!!!! GOD BLESS YOU!!!
i'll share about my lost life in my next post of Curent life (part 3). when i got the time to blog that's it.
till then,
vincent.
33 days to SPM
full version:
Current Life(part 1) [Busy life]
Current Life (part 2) [Disappointing Life]
Current life (part 3) [Lost Life]
Vincent Choo ♥
9:48 PM
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