Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Current Life (part 1)
my current life can be describe as
busy,
disappointing,
no direction and
dying. why is the reason for all this?!
i'll tell you what it is like to have this kind off life.
busy as in:tell me, do you think a person who faces books, papers and worksheet for at least 10 hours a days would feel? i'll tell you its call
TIRING!!!! well you believe that a person like me is actually doing this right now in my everyday life?!
I CANT EVEN BELIEVE IT MYSELF!!!! let me who you how i calculate it.
roughly it should be something like this:
6 hours of morning school classes
2 hours of tuition in the afternoon
2 hours of tuition in the night
= 10 hours of BOOKS!!!!!(not including the other time i spend to study myself)
i had been bearing with this kinda of life for
9 YEARS!!!!! did you get what i just say? or did you confuse what i had just said? i said
I HAD BEEN LIVING THIS KIND OF LIFE FOR
9 YEARS!!!!
yes, you did not seen vision or illusion, it is clearly stated
9 YEARS! i had been living my whole life as
student like this since
primary 1. since primary 1 i had already been send to tuition class everyday. and till now, i don't know should i say i am already used to it or was getting really tired of it. my mum was the one who arrange all my tuition classes for me since i was small, well since i am stubborn and idiot, typically not smart enough as the other children, i have to sacrifice all my childhood happiness and spend all my time miserable at the tuition classes. i was even ashamed to tell people that i had been to so many tuition classes everyday, fully packed my time.
i have no time for extra curriculum, hanging out with friends, exercise, or just take a walk out side my house. really.... sometime i would think of rather die then living this kind of life. but sometime i manage to persuade myself to bare with it knowing that it was a way that my parent show their caring towards me, wanting me to score well in academic to ensure i would have a good future life. yes, i know that. that's why i coped. but sometime, i just cant stand the pressure and started to feel depressed and down.
since i don't have much social life since young, i don't really know how to communicate with people and so i have not much friends. and i can honestly say that till today i never manage to find a true friend that i really can rely on. so when i am feeling down and so on, i have no where to go but to take it all down by myself.
i always had been admiring friends and classmate who do not have tuition. well, since primary 1, most of the kids was really free and can play around with their friends but i end up at at tuition center facing the books again and again and again. till today there are still friends who do not have much tuition and so they are kinda free. they can hang out, study together and play together, and i have to be at tuition. its really depressing you know when i'm typing this now.
i'll say what happen today. this morning of cause went to school from 7.15am to 12.45pm. then i had my Bible Knowledge trial exam form 1.30pm to 4.00pm(i had missed physic tuiton due to the test) then i went home, straight away i went for a bath. then after bath i had dinner, and after dinner i straightly had to rush to my BM tuition at 6.30pm to 8.30pm. between this whole time from morning 5.30am since i was awake i had never got to rest till i came back home at 8.30pm. and you know what?! i came into my computer room and on the computer. just while i was opening my blog my mum came in and say: "what are you doing here? ain't you be in your room studying?" i can't stand no more on the pressure but to said it out but in a polite metter. i said: "is it weird that i am here? why can't i be here?" in a little bit loud volume. i cant remember why she back off already but i know i an surely really depressed by it.
oh wow.... looking back up, i just realize that i had write a whole long essay expressing my sorrow life. well there is still disappointing, no direction life and dying life. maybe i'll share about next time. cause i am now depressed and would not want to continue any further.
till then,
vincent.
35 days to SPM
full version:
Current Life(part 1) [Busy life]
Current Life (part 2) [Disappointing Life]
Current life (part 3) [Lost Life]
Vincent Choo ♥
9:58 PM
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